Book warns the decline in marriage comes at a high cost

Andrea Mrozek and Peter Jon Mitchell, in their book I… Do?, write that the fading value of marriage is a threat to social stability

Title: I… Do?: Why Marriage Still Matters
Authors: Andrea Mrozek and Peter Jon Mitchell
Publisher: Cascade Books
Publication Year: 2024
(Available from Amazon)

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In a culture allergic to uncomfortable truths, I… Do? by Andrea Mrozek and Peter Jon Mitchell manages to say something both obvious and radical: marriage matters. And not just for sentimental reasons. It’s a social good, maybe even a civilizational necessity.

The book is a modestly sized but thoroughly researched work that compiles decades of social science data to make one central point: stable marriages improve individual and societal well-being. Married people are generally healthier, wealthier and more resilient. Children from married-parent homes do better across almost every major indicator: academic success, mental health, future earnings and even reduced contact with the justice system.

The authors refer to this consistent pattern as the “marriage advantage.” It’s not simply about income. Even in low-income households, children raised by married parents tend to outperform their peers from single-parent families. Mrozek and Mitchell make the case that marriage functions as a stabilizing institution, producing better outcomes not just for couples and kids but for communities and, by extension, the country.

But while the book compiles an impressive array of empirical findings, it’s clear the authors know that data alone won’t fix what’s broken. There’s a quiet but important concession in these pages: if statistics alone could persuade people to value marriage, we’d already be seeing a turnaround. We’re not.

Marriage in Canada is in sharp decline. Fewer people are getting married, the average age of first marriage continues to climb, and fertility rates are hitting historic lows. The cultural narrative has shifted. Marriage is seen less as a cornerstone of adult life and more as a personal lifestyle choice, often put off indefinitely while people wait to feel ready, build their careers or find emotional stability. That “perfect moment” rarely comes.

The real value of I… Do? lies in its recognition that the solutions are not primarily political. Policy can help, or at least stop making things worse, but politicians are not going to rescue marriage. In fact, asking them to may be counterproductive. Mrozek and Mitchell wisely suggest the best the state can do is remove disincentives, such as tax policies and benefit structures that inadvertently penalize marriage, and then get out of the way.

This is an important point. The liberal tradition once understood that family was prior to politics for good reason: to keep matters of love, loyalty and child-rearing safely outside the grasp of bureaucrats and ambitious ideologues. The more marriage has been politicized over recent decades, the more it has been reshaped in ways that promote dependency on the state and erode personal responsibility.

The book takes a brief but pointed detour into the politics of same-sex marriage. Mrozek expresses regret that the topic has become politically untouchable, but the authors largely steer clear of a deep dive. That’s probably wise. As a reviewer, I’d argue that revisiting that battle is neither possible nor productive. By now, most Canadians likely know same-sex couples whose marriages demonstrate the same virtues the authors praise. The bigger issue isn’t who gets married; it’s that fewer people are getting married at all.

Where I… Do? really shines is in its final section. After pages of statistics, the authors turn to something far more powerful: culture. They explore how civil society—including faith communities, neighbourhoods, arts organizations and other voluntary associations—can help revive a vision of marriage that is compelling, accessible and rooted in human experience. They point to storytelling, mentorship and personal witness as ways to rebuild a marriage culture from the ground up.

It’s here that the book moves from description to inspiration. Mrozek and Mitchell acknowledge the limits of top-down efforts and instead offer the beginnings of a grassroots roadmap. Their suggestions are tentative but important: showcase healthy marriages, celebrate commitment and encourage institutions to support rather than undermine families.

This is not a utopian manifesto. It’s a realistic, often sobering look at how far marriage has fallen off the public radar and what it might take to put it back. In a political climate where even mentioning marriage as a public good can raise eyebrows, I… Do? offers a brave, thoughtful attempt to reframe the conversation.

To be clear, this is not a book for policy wonks or ideologues. It’s for parents, pastors, educators and anyone concerned about social cohesion. It’s for Gen Xers wondering if their kids will ever give them grandkids. It’s for Gen Zers wondering if marriage is still worth it. And it’s for those in between, hoping to build something lasting in a culture that too often encourages the opposite.

If you already believe in marriage, I… Do? will affirm what you know. If you’re skeptical, it won’t convert you overnight, but it might spark a much-needed conversation. That alone is worth saying “I do” to.

Our Verdict: ★★★★☆
A clear-eyed, data-driven defence of marriage that avoids nostalgia and culture-war theatrics. I… Do? makes a persuasive case that marriage is not just a private preference but a stabilizing social institution, while honestly acknowledging that statistics alone won’t revive it. Its strength lies in pairing solid social science with a realistic, grassroots vision for cultural renewal. It stops short of offering a full roadmap, but what it does offer is thoughtful, restrained and timely, especially in a culture increasingly uneasy with the very idea that marriage still matters.

Travis D. Smith is an associate professor of political science at Concordia University in Montreal. He is the author of Superhero Ethics (Templeton Press) and co-editor of Flattering the Demos (Lexington Books). This book review was submitted by the Frontier Centre for Public Policy.