Want to be heard? Stop yelling

In a world addicted to noise, calm and clarity, not shouting, are what people actually listen to

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Everywhere you turn, the volume is cranked up. News anchors shout. Social feeds seethe. Even the boardroom sounds more like a battleground. Everyone’s desperate to be heard. Everyone wants to matter. Everyone’s exhausted.

From Air Canada flight attendants who voted to strike after feeling invisible—part of a broader wave of Canadian workers demanding more than lip service—to entire communities caught in the blast radius of conflicts like Israel and Palestine, a common thread emerges: people feel dismissed. Misunderstood. Ignored. And when that feeling lingers, it boils over.

We raise our voices, not just in volume but in tone. We get sharp. Defensive. We convince ourselves that the only way to be heard is to push harder, louder, faster.

But it’s not just on the world stage. It’s in everyday life. It’s the parent yelling at a teenager whose earbuds are surgically implanted. The retiree watching their town transform into something unrecognizable. The employee who’s given years to a company and now feels like a payroll code.

Everyone’s trying to hold onto influence. And most of us are going about it all wrong.

Here’s what rarely gets said: you don’t need to be loud to be persuasive. You need to be impactful. That starts with how you show up.

• Be the calm voice in the room. Not passive. Not a pushover. Calm. In a world that’s overheated and reactionary, steadiness isn’t boring; it’s magnetic.
• Listen like you mean it. If you’re just reloading your comeback while someone else talks, not actually hearing them, you’ve already lost the room, and probably your credibility.
• Lead with clarity, not certainty. Certainty without humility is just dogma in a louder suit. Clarity says, “Here’s where I stand—and I’m still learning.”
• Ditch the righteousness. It may feel powerful, but it’s a conversational grenade. It puts you on a pedestal and everyone else on edge.
• Repair before you reassert. If you helped fracture the dialogue—and let’s face it, we all do—own it. Influence doesn’t come from being flawless. It comes from being accountable.
• Pause before you pounce. A short pause before responding signals confidence—and helps you stay constructive instead of reactive.
• Ask before you answer. Questions show curiosity and defuse tension. You’re more likely to be heard once the other person feels understood.

These aren’t just theoretical ideas—they come up again and again in real conversations across the country.

This is the truth I share in workshops and keynotes, and it usually lands with a mix of relief and resistance. You don’t need charisma. You don’t need extroversion. You don’t need to dominate every Zoom call or pound the table in a meeting.

You need intention. You need emotional clarity. You need relational wisdom. And you need to remember: the most powerful people in the room are rarely the ones delivering monologues. They’re the ones asking the best questions.

Whether it’s a parent-teacher night turned battleground or a city council meeting derailed by shouting, we’re seeing the same thing across Canada: more noise, less connection.

So if you’re not being heard, if conversations keep sliding into chaos, if you’re starting to feel invisible, ask yourself: am I trying to win—or am I trying to connect?

Because in a country where volume is confused with value, real influence still belongs to the most listenable voice in the room—the one people actually want to hear.

Faith Wood is a professional speaker, author, and certified professional behaviour analyst. Before her career in speaking and writing, she served in law enforcement, which gave her a unique perspective on human behaviour and motivations. Faith is also known for her work as a novelist, with a focus on thrillers and suspense. Her background in law enforcement and understanding of human behaviour often play a significant role in her writing.